Below are comments from friends and family about Charles L. Bailey Jr.(Author)
Charles III and Stephanie
Tracy + Ty and their children
Chuck has impacted my life more ways then I can count. He is my younger brother.
I have watched him grown up from an innocent child to a man who stands tall. When we were growing up
I remember the "visits" from the family priest and even though I was only 13 at the time I felt they were strange.
The priest would come and go upstairs for privacy to "teach" him the ways of a priest. I felt that this was
strange and voiced this to my parents who thought it was just sibling rivalry. Once I crept up the stairs and
sat on the top landing hoping to hear what was so secretive. Now I cannot believe I was so naive. My instinct
and heart told me something was wrong but I failed my brother and did not act on it. I noticed a change in him
as he became very quiet and solemn. He no longer had an easy laugh and smile on his face. I feel such guilt over this.
Chuck is one of the greatest persons I have ever known. I love him with all my heart. He has made everyone lives a little
better by being there for all of us whenever we needed him. When life has given him blows he has taken then turned them
into strengths instead of weakness. I have seen him over things that would have destroyed someone else and come out the
other end the same loving person he is. He makes me proud to call him my brother. One of the biggest regret of my life
is how I let him down by not being there when he needed me the most. It was up to me as his Big Sister to protect and care
for him and I failed. In the Shadow of the Cross should be read by everyone to see and understand what a child goes through
and what strength and perseverance is needed to come through this a whole person. The story of my brother is so heart
retching and painful that it should be a must to read. This book was painful for him to write and painful for his family to
watch him relive what had happened. It took much courage and strength of which he has a never ending well to pull from.
Chuck I love you with all my heart and am proud of what you have done with pouring open your heart and exposing it so others
may learn and grow.
All my love,
Carol T Bailey
My Father is Charles L. Bailey Jr., he is very special to me. To know my dad, is to love, honor and respect him.
My father has two sides to him, he's an influential man, strong, intelligent and a leader. He's also kind, gentle,
understanding, loving, compassionate, considerate and thoughtful everything that you need to be the utmost role model and
father figure. My goal in life is to become like him, he is a devoted father, truly dedicated to raising his family.
When my Father sat me down and first told me about what had happened. I wanted to cry, but with me, instead of depression
I fill with anger and hate. My mind doesn't ever rest much, so I thought about it more often than I wanted to.
This was very difficult for me to deal with, someone that I love so much, hurting inside. I can't image being him,
I know I wouldn't have been as strong as him. I would have lashed out, hurting others (Priests). Then I wouldn't have
been the person I am today, with a Beautiful wife and two kids. I used to believe that I was a very strong person
physically and emotionally, but not even close to my Father. He is the real "Man of Steel" dealing with what life dealt him,
and then turning to help others. He is a real life Hero.
I am now realizing that some things that were important in life when I was young, are not as important now. As I grow older,
my dad is teaching me, to be more understanding of others, to try and forgive others, be mindful of other people feelings
and thoughts, to listen more than speak, as you might learn something that you may not have heard otherwise. I am ever so Proud and blessed to have him for a Father.
This world would be a much better place if others had a Father like I did.
I love you, Dad…
Charles L. Bailey III (Chas)
There is nothing but kind and loving words that I could use to speak about Charles L. Bailey Jr. That is because Charles is
one of the nicest, down to earth and laid back gentleman I have ever met. He has one of the biggest hearts and would help
just about anyone that needed a hand. Charles is my father in law and from day one has treated me as if I was his own daughter.
I love him and his family with all my heart and will stand by his side to help him, so he can help others.
Love your daughter in law,
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Since it's inception, I have visited this website many, many times. I have read every word and have wept many times.
Tears of joy. The tears of joy come from the love in the letters written with such heartfelt emotions. There has been one
letter missing. I have always known that. That letter is from me.
I can give many reasons for this but the true reason is that it has been real hard for me to express my feelings, especially
in the last few years with my losses in my family. When you told me that your book was available, I purchased several copies.
I gave some to friends that I thought would benefit from it, one to Tedi and one I kept for myself. That was a long time ago.
I started to read it at least ten times. Each time I would try, my emotions would just about kill me. With the loss of Morgan
and DeeDee, I have the tendency to push away anything that may hurt so I pushed it away. Put it in a safe place. You know
what I'm talking about. Tedi finally kicked me in the rear end and asked me to buck up and read it. I just finished it.
I have a few things to say.
Charles Bailey JR……..YOU ARE NOT DAMAGED GOODS! You are the furthest thing from that. You are the most loving gentle man I
have ever known. I love you with every bit of my heart. You are a most blessed man. I look at you and see a man that was
blessed with the most wonderful gift that could be bestowed upon anyone. Your babies, Grand babies and all their love are
truly a gift from God. I remember years ago when Susan sent me a picture with the whole family in it. I was surprised that
you could fit all of them in it and there have been several additions since. I remember thinking to myself what a lucky man
you are. Look what you two started. How wonderful is that?
You always took the time to talk to me when I was hurting and
needed someone to talk to. This was at a time when you were dealing with your own demons. You are the most unselfish person
I have ever known. Now your mission in life is to help others. WOW! I never knew when I was next to you, when you married my
sister, that I was standing next to such a tower of a man. It was an honor to be your Best man. I need you to know there is
not one opportunity that arises that I don't spread your word. I agree that education is the key to eliminating this awful
epidemic. I admire you and everything you and Susan are doing. I can't say this loud enough in writing and I stand proud
with Chas when I say... Charlie Bailey, YOU ARE MY HERO!
Your Brother-in-law, good friend and admirer
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My dad is special to me. Like many fathers are special to their sons. But mine is different. I have one that worked hard to
get to know me and spend time with me. Even when things weren't all that easy to talk about. He always made the effort to
let me know that I could talk to him about anything. I know now why that was harder for him than most fathers. I trust him,
and that builds a great friendship, and understanding. He is one in a million. And for that I am lucky. Like stars in the
sky there is one that shines brightest, I call him Dad.
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My name is Kevin and I am Chuck's younger brother. I call him Chuck as that is how I knew him as a child and even though he
goes by Charles or Charlie, I will always know him as Chuck.
I waited to write this as I wanted to have time to read the book prior to making any contributions to this web site.
I am 3 years younger than my brother and I am presently halfway through Physician Assistant school and have not had
any free time to read anything other than medical literature, but I decided to take time this past weekend to read
my brother's book detailing his abuse at the hands of an evil monster who falsely cloistered himself as a Roman
Catholic priest. I thought I would read a few chapters at a time but instead I found myself reading the entire book
in one sitting.
Many times I cried as I read, sometimes I wept openly, the tears coming in such an amount that they blurred my vision
and I had to put the book aside until I could compose myself enough to resume my reading.
I now realize that many words define you, my brother over the last 40 plus years: fear, anger, isolation, desperation,
rage, loathing, hate, loneliness. However one word that never should have followed you is the word guilt.
If I had the power I would wipe that word from your memory. Zapp, it is gone forever from your memory banks.
You were a 10 year old boy, a child, a baby still in the eyes of your family when your innocence was stolen from
you by an agent of pure evil. You, dear Chuck, are in no way, shape, or form responsible for what befell upon a
child of ten years. This evil thing ( I will not dignify him by calling him a man), this evil thing enveloped you,
smothered you, and even cursed you for being an innocent 10 year old. He perverted the image of God and religion to
warp you for life.
I have never really understood organized religion of any sort. To me organized religion is something mankind has
created for the benefit of man's quest for a higher source other than themselves. I went through 4 years at a
catholic high school and 2 years at a Jesuit college and I remembering asking several different priests the same question.
I would say to them for example: "If a Buddhist is born a Buddhist and raises a good family, lives a good virtuous life
and never harms his fellow man why does he not go to heaven?" I would never get an answer that made sense to me. It was
always "Because they are not fortunate enough to be born Catholic" or some variation of this response. The answer was
always the same whether it was a Buddhist or a Hindu or a Jewish individual I would use in the example. I could never
come to grips with that type of theology. I would say to myself, 2/3 of the worlds population is not catholic through
no fault of their own, what type of benevolent, all knowing, all forgiving God would condemn all these people simply
because they were not born catholic?
The point of all this is that as I became older I came to believe that what makes a man holy or religious is not what
religion he belongs to but rather it is in how one lives his life that is important. To me people who live a virtuous life,
who lives by example, who is kind to his fellow man, is a good father, husband, and has empathy even with strangers is a
"Man of God". This person is more holy than any individual who dons extravagant garb or fancy jewelry and recites scripture
verbatim. These are the type of people I would call "Men of God" and at the top of this list I would put my brother, Chuck.
Chuck you truly are a "Man of God" and are doing God's work!
To have suffered as you have suffered but to rise above it all to become a good husband, a good father, a good world citizen.
You very easily could have gone down the dark road and became an alcoholic, drug addict or a homeless person.
Instead you chose the path of light and went on to be a good father, husband, brother, son and to make this world a
better place in your life time.
I think you now have a "personal relationship" with God. To me you have lived a religious life without the confines of an
organized religion you are in fact a "Man of God".
At the end of our lives, many of us will find ourselves in the "standby line" hoping that a seat will open for us in paradise.
A few, a very few, will have an e-ticket already stamped that says no waiting for the bearer of this ticket. This person will
go straight to heaven with no stops along the way. My brother will be one of these lucky few who will fly first class all
the way to paradise.
With all my love and devotion,
Your little brother,
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There are so many words that describe my Dad....loving, gentle, giving, warm, sensitive, honorable, brave, strong...
the list could go on for days. I have to say, hands down, my favorite word to describe my dad is MINE! I am not sure what
I did to deserve such an extraordinary man to be my father but I don't question it. I am just thankful everyday that I was
blessed with him. I am not the only lucky one though....my children are too. I don't think there is anyone in this entire
world that could compare to him in their eyes....probably not even me! They adore their "Papa". When I see him with my kids
it melts my heart. When I think of all the hurt, pain, confusion and horrific things my Dad has gone through in his life,
I hurt all over. My heart actually aches for him. There are so many awful paths his life could have gone down but with
his incredible strength he chose a path of love and greatness. My Dad has asked, "why did God let this happen to me?"
I have pondered that question myself over and over again. The answer that came to me was, God didn't let those things
happen to him. God is not a magical God, therefore he cannot control what humans do on earth. He can however take
tragedy and show his grace through the strength he gives to victims of tragedy. I believe the Lord has given him that
strength to overcome the evil my Dad has endured and in turn also gave him the power to reach out and make a difference
in the lives of other victims. I do also believe that God is a just God and Father Neary is now paying for his sins
eternally in hell. It may not be very Christian of me BUT...that thought makes me happy and gives me some peace at night.
I cannot even begin to say how proud I am of my Dad. Becoming the head of SNAP in Syracuse, speaking at conferences,
fighting to change laws and opening his home to help other victims in despair. Never concerned that most of his free time
is devoted to helping others. How could anyone not be in awe of this extraordinary man?
Dad, I love you with all my heart and soul. It is an honor to call you MY Dad.
In 1990 I met the most beautiful young woman I had ever seen. Shortly after that we began dating and she invited me to meet her family.
I'll never forget walking through the front door their home and being greeted by a very tall and intimidating gentleman.
I can remember thinking to myself that I better never do anything to make this man angry. He turned out to be the complete
opposite of my first impression of him. Three years later I became his son-in-law. Almost immediately after I met him he
became a father to me. Any words of wisdom I may have needed or comfort I was seeking, he gave to me as if I was his own
flesh and blood. It is impossible to put into words everything he has done for me over the years. Anyone who knows him would
tell the same story. None of us ever knew of the demons that chased him every waking moment and into his dreams. He protected
all of us from it. That was his job- to protect us from all of the bad things in this world, and show us how much he loved
all of us.
Three years ago I began chasing my own demons. In doing so, I shut him out of my life. I caused him great pain when he was already
dealing with more than any man should have to. I did this for three long years. When I finally got my life straightened out,
I asked him for forgiveness. He didn't even hesitate. He forgave me. That's what a father does for his children.
I love you Dad, more than I could possibly put into words. You are my hero. You always have been.
My grandpa is very helpful and nice. He is the very best grandpa ever. Whenever I'm sad he cheers me up.
When I fix stuff with him I feel happy.
Grandpa has done a lot for me. He is very helpful and whenever something happens he is always there for you and never let's you down.
He loves to help and grandpa is a good fixer. He could fix anything. I love my grandpa. He is a very sweet man. I am happy he is my grandpa.
My grandfather Charles means so much to me. He has taught me so many things I still use today. He's the reason I pay attention in school,
he taught me to do that. He has taught me too many things to be written on paper. I love him so much. He's my favorite grandfather. I love him.
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